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I know my Angel Declan is happy and playing with all his Angels Friends in Heaven although my heart aches for him i know he is very happy and that no one or nothing can ever hurt him, he is safe and free from pain and Declan will never suffer again! He watches over me and me children and although i have my bad days he is proud of me for being strong for his brother and sisters who also need me
THIS I DECLAN'S STORY,
When i first found out i was pregnant with Declan i was a little scared and confused he was my 7th child. (or 8th pregnancy as i lost one through misscarriage last march at 8 weeks). Myself and dad werent together as such.
It was strange this time though i had a gut feeling that something was wrong but i didnt know what.
i always remember this and this how the story starts on what happened to my little boy
it was the 18th of december my youngest son leon was taken in to hospital with puemonia on the left right side of his chest it was really bad and he was given two lots of antibotics to help him fight it. i was by he side all times and that when i first started bleeding. it wasnt bad but i brushed it off as i had to be with leon.
all went well and leon was allowed home on the wednesday which was brilliant as christmas day was on the sunday.
christmas day came and i woke up with cramps and the bleeding was a bit more i did get scared and thought that i was going to lose him then. i braved the day and didnt let on to the kids that anything was wrong. i just prayed and prayed that it wasnt going to happen that day.
lucky and thanxfully the pain passed.
then a few weeks later 4 am in the morning i was woken up with period cramps and bleeding i was on my own and i got very very scared that i was losing him then. i manged to phone the doctor and he said i needed to got to a&e as it sounded like i was losing the baby. i could go anywere or do anything as i didnt have anyone to look after the other children so i had to sit and wait till the morning when then i could arrange something
That morning was the worst i had it in my head that they were gonna tell mre that i was gonna lose the baby. i was scared and didnt want to go through that again. i manged to get my friend to come with me.
i got there and was only in the waiting room for a little while when i was called.
this was the moment they put me on the bed asked me what was happening and the next thing i knew they had the scan up and there was declan all comftable and ok . i remember them saying how big he was. and they said all is fine no worrys . i was happy and relived. but the midwife did notice the membrane werent right but not to worry. well from the day i heard that my baby boy wasnt doing to well. . I frist started losing water and i knew what it was but the doctors never belived me. then the pains were getting bad Then i started bleeding and when i got to the hospital i was waiting for the doctors and i started bleeding so bad that i knew that something was not right and i thought i was going to die. IT stopped and the next day i was sent to st georges for a detailed scan well that day was the day my life fell apart. the doctor comfrmed that i had hardly any water around declan and that the bleeding was my placenta. but my baby looked perfect like nothing was wrong tears streamed down my cheek and i knew the doctor had no hope for my baby. they tried to get a scan photo for me but couldt get a complete picture so i had a long sheet of different pics of my baby .
